urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n black_pois0n black_pois0n 2004-08-01T15:17:09Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:12633 2004-08-01T15:17:09Z 2004-08-01T15:17:09Z alright we're gunna go back till like 3 days ago or atleast TRY..<br /><br />all i know is that im NOT wiht shawn.. thank god.. hmm..i slept over coreys the other night after going to daves with don and him.. then went to bed at 6 in the morning to wake up at 9 then went home.. and had to go to shays.. yeah.. that kinda sucked bcuz lyndsey was mad at me.. but oh well i was over it and so wasn't she.. and we talked bout everything and then nothing really big happened.. i fell asleep and COREY called me at 4:37 in the morning.. oh fucking a.. that was stupid i didn't wake up though.. lyndsey did.. but didn't answer it.. oh well.. he was shitfaced.. so im glad i didn't.. and he was with sarah.. so yeah.. makes it better.. but yeah.. i've been hanging out with him ALOT lately and surprisingly he isn't sick of me.. then yesterday i was at shays .. he showed up bcuz i wanted him 2 .. hung out with him and lyndsey most of the time.. and then bitched at patty! lol yay! then went to his house for maybe 15 minutes or less iuno .. then waiting for tyler to show up.. then got a ride home from don! i mean i LOVE him .. lol.. seriously! then came home.. i got my period! =0( thats soo sad.. i haven't had it all summer.. but atleast its only a week long.. oh well.. then sat on my ass for a couple hours.. talked to larry till corey called me.. then kept going back and forth.. then got WICKED sick.. talked to corey at like 1? till like 2? and sarah flipped a nut.. but i could give a shit less.. then went to bed.. and then today im SUPOSED to hang out with corey and go some where wit him.. but iuno.. yet..i gotta see how my periods gunna do today..stupid thing! lol.. yeah.. my life kinda sucks lately.. but thats my last 3 days.. ill update again in 3 days! l8r loves!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />ill make love to you &lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:12439 2004-07-24T20:14:29Z 2004-07-24T20:14:29Z alot of things are different since my last entry.. im no longer with shawn.. we lasted 2 weeks.. and then he dumped me and i finally met my long lost love adam &lt;3 hes perfect .. i love every minute im with him.. its amazing.. just to look at someone and just kiss them and know that im not alone and i wont be for a while except we're not 2 good right now bcuz i wanna be with him more then the world.. to kno hes mine and no other girl can have him but iuno if i can take the pain that i knows gunna come with this..iuno.. i can't figure it out.. but yeah .. i love him and im bored so l8r urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:12187 2004-06-23T00:23:30Z 2004-06-23T00:23:30Z a lot of time has gone by ... hmm i dont even remember anything.. all i know is that im with the love of my life * shawn * 6.21. * im soo fucking happy but in a way im not.. im not gunna see him like everyday like i wish.. but i hope i can stand this me and jasmine were fightign yah i've been hanging out wtih shay and kaykay ALOT lately.. it rox.. but thats okay.. yeah..corey and lyndsey broke up ... stupid fag.. ME AND PAT ARE FRIENDS .. not fuck buddys.. just friends and me and larry are kinda good.. hes been makin me mad lately.. whatever .. me and jasmine are STILL fighting.. thats okay.. doesn't matter but im out .. lataaaaaaaaaaz!!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:11913 2004-05-27T00:53:10Z 2004-05-27T00:53:10Z i love you and miss you more then anything.<br />im sorry i ever hurt you in any way. <br />i wish i could take it back.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:11750 2004-05-09T20:31:59Z 2004-05-09T20:31:59Z i like big butts and i cannot lie<br />POP. lol.<br />i got new bra`s not that you care<br />lol<br />wow.<br />im bored<br />later dude! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:11373 2004-05-08T22:18:07Z 2004-05-08T22:18:07Z wow good shit today!! lol<br />larry i love you! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:11077 2004-05-08T02:29:48Z 2004-05-08T02:29:48Z wow tonight was an ill night. lol mad good times. joe almost fucking died. good times. with megan or course. sarah rizza and whoever because i can't spell her name is maaaaad chill. yeah thats all you really need to know.<br />im bored and horny. i need pat. lol.. =0) you like it.<br />i need to talk to larry. he told me he'd call me. but lied. ;(<br />oh well. *tear tear* <br />later dudes urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:10761 2004-05-07T10:04:28Z 2004-05-07T10:04:28Z the game of life its hard to play im gunna lose it anyway...<br />this is all i have to say<br />suicide is painless <br />brings on many changes urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:10603 2004-05-05T22:44:48Z 2004-05-05T22:44:48Z well.. lets see.. me and matt broke up like twice i did shit with shawn .. oh boy.. lol good times just wrong time.. lol.. oh well then we went out for like 3 days then i went back out with matt then broke up with matt or w/e yeahh.. then i was single.. now i like pat ! hmm sexii.. lol.. and nick flores likes me .. hmmm sexii.. holy shit .. sexii men.. i love my life.. yeahh.. which was cool i got my hair dyed im just waiting till i can take pictures again and youll see it .. its like a bright auburn.. it rocks.. but thats kay..yeahh and now chrysta's like why aren't you happy for me.. FUCK THAT.. deffinitly fuck that .. hahah you've gotta be joking .. shes with matt now and she knows im pissed and i dont know why shes talking to me .. ehh.. whatever.. this is gay.. im just gunna go get used by someone and become a hoe.. works for both of us.. yeahh.. umm.. yeahh.. my life pretty much like blows right now and i need to talk to larry.. oh yeahh i got wicked tight with him hes like my best friend.. which rocks and im waiting for him to call .. or someone to call then go out side and take some fucking rage out.. like crazy but ill be fine .. i guess .. i haven't slept in like 3 days because i've been on the phone with larry and pat the last 3 days .. which is okay because i love em both.. lol.. yeahh.. and im bored and horny.. not that you care .. this is sooo bullshit .. but thats okay .. i met a new friend i forgot.. chelsi albert.. hmmm sexii bitch.. lol... she deffinitly is.. anyone would say soo.. shes so nice too.. i dont know how i remember her .. lol prolly when i was going out with shawn or something .. and now im on the fone with jasmine listening to some song.. sounds cool so far .. its a song to shawn edward yule!.. he comes back tomorrow .. hes suspended.. what a dumb fuck .. yeah.. oh well.. doesn't matter .. i just almost thought all of this got deleted or something .. holy shit .. oo boy.. lol.. yeahh .. anyways.. im getting really bored and amber wants to read this long ass thing.. so ill write tomorrow morning before school or something with what happened tonight.. later ( tomorrow wont be as long im tired of typing my life ) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:10293 2004-04-10T16:37:45Z 2004-04-10T16:37:45Z Lets start with monday..<br /><br />I was sick monday<br />Went to school late tuesday hung out with matt left me cell with him opps<br />wednesday nothing big i dont think besides me getting mad at matt<br />thursday nothing i slept all day<br />friday i saw my baby even though he was late people wanted to fight but it turned out good <br />saturday going out with lauren,jeff,heather. awesome~! loll<br /><br />laterrrrrrrrrrr urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:10002 2004-04-03T03:12:32Z 2004-04-03T03:12:32Z I just got home from the movies.<br />lemme just say .. holy fuck me.<br />lol<br />megans over.<br />so yeahhhhh<br /><br /><br />i love matt.<br />later urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:9765 2004-04-02T01:06:35Z 2004-04-02T01:06:35Z My House Flooded. (lol) My Baby Called me today. His sisters a slut bag. Umm.<br />I Love my Baby. No ones gunna change that seriously. Alex was all pissed off when he found out i wasn't going to dump Matt for anyone. <br /><br />i love you baby.<br />3/31<br />hehe. soooo happy. <br /><br />Later. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:9613 2004-03-31T19:58:58Z 2004-03-31T19:58:58Z matt asked me out this morning. wahoo.<br />alex found out from big mouth ( lauren ) <br />now hes mad at me. that sucks. he was my bffe.<br />lol and people were like umm a punk kid<br />im like YEAH. lol. hes so sexy. lol i can't help it<br />yeah.<br />i love MY matthew. lol so fuck you.<br />3/31 lol .. yep. lol<br /><br />josh and josh suck balls. <br /><br />thats my dayyyy<br /><br />oh yeah.. its raining.. kill yourself rain. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:9307 2004-03-30T00:03:01Z 2004-03-30T00:03:01Z as my lipstick <br />washing away from your cheak<br />down to your belt<br />i wonder what really happened <br />while the lights were dimmed.<br /><br /><br />- kinda gets the mind going. lol -<br /><br />yeah i hung out wiht josh M , Josh F , and Brandon. very cool kids<br />except for JOsh M now becuase hes mad at me for being a slut. which i didn't do anthing because of my period. so suck my balls.<br />yeah that was my day<br /><br />oh yeah i have my period<br />LICK MY BALLS<br />bitch<br />lol<br /><br />&lt;33 matts sexy urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:9129 2004-03-28T16:13:53Z 2004-03-28T16:13:53Z its been the worst day of my life today.<br />my mom just kicked the computer screen. then took a hammer to it. wtf. <br />crazy motha fukka. and now she doesn't want me living here. which is fucking awesome.<br />shes my fucking guardian or w/e so she has to keep me if she likes it or not.<br />its not as easy as she wants everything to be.<br />just to be like i dont want you and me be gone. because her look on life is no different then anyone else's. she doesn't have a clue how much i cry or what hurts me inside or anything. and wont ever know. its like she doesn't even know me anyways so why does it all matter to her anyways what i do or what i say or how i live. its not like she had anything to do with me growing up. in my opinion it was really me raising my self to be how i am today and im the reason i am what i am. no one else. its no ones fault i can't love anyone or anything else. i've learned to not know how. and yet again no one can stand me but to my face they love me with all the world but behind my sorry worthless back im nothing to them, just a girl in this so totally fucked up world. i dont really understand it. its just hard to really know what to do or what to say to make myself look cool or be nice or anything when really i just want to lay in my bed forever never move, and lay in my tears. For the last 13 years, I've lived with these things called parents which really you couldn't really call them that because they dont have a clue on what their child is really doing. All the drugs,fights,hate everything that goes on in the world today. No one really has a clue. But they just say they do because they want to feel like there a part of the childs life. But behind closed doors its like a horrible horror story. Called "Nothing More then a Abused Child."<br />Thats pretty much how it goes.<br />I want to some day soon write a book on it. But im not sure if i should.<br /><br /><br />Should i? <br />Comment me and Tell me whats up.<br />Later urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:8807 2004-03-26T20:30:48Z 2004-03-26T20:30:48Z Lauren. My new Love.<br />I Love You Darling.<br />MwAhZz! <br /><br />Joe Nolan Sucks Cock. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:8561 2004-03-25T23:57:50Z 2004-03-25T23:57:50Z Girls are Sluts.<br />Guys are Pricks.<br />Im a Pathetic Girl.<br />So Suck My Dick.<br />Oh Wait.<br />I Put Out.<br />My bad. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:8354 2004-03-25T11:04:38Z 2004-03-25T11:04:38Z umm .. just getting ready i guess for another horrible day of my fucked up life. prolly gunna get bitched at .. like always for something i didn't do. <br /><br />yanno that feeling thats just like you wanan die just like randomly .. well mines not random ..<br /><br />i wanna fucking die. badly<br />someone wanna kill me?<br /><br /><br />Later. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:8179 2004-03-25T01:06:32Z 2004-03-25T01:07:47Z my tears falling from my cheaks nothing happened i really dont care either<br /><br />got punched in the face by my mom .. <br /><br />umm dan jus called me and leaves me a voice mail that goes : i dont like you i was just using you for a peice of ass .. dont call me dont text me dont fucking talk to me nothing peace :<br /><br />dude that just fucking sucks ass seriously .. that just pisses me off like wicked bad .. but w/e i really dont fucking care anymore im sick of htis bullshit<br /><br />fuck this<br />peace<br /><br /><br />;[<br />wanna play a game...<br />shoot me and ill scream? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:7897 2004-03-23T01:15:48Z 2004-03-23T01:16:32Z Square Dance - Eminem wellllllllll ... i woke up at like 9 this morning opps my bad i missed the bus then i stayed home longer ... then walked to god damn school .. not that anyone cares .. lol but kay. lol went to school came home .. hung out ... dan baker fucking called me lol talked to him .. heather wanted me to hang out with her jason and dan and pimpie lol. so i went over there .. hung out with sexy oh man. lol we cuddled it was cute it wasn't like nick who was like SEX!!!! lol hhaha but nicks a cool guy. yeah so me and dan i guess look cute together and theres gunna be a hook up i guess lol. its kay though because hes hot and he seems sweet. and i've known him for a while kinda i've chilled with him before which was cool. but we weren't as close. he was asking me like every question he knew. lol. it was cute though. lol he is wicked chill. lol and jason and heather raping each other of course. lol its kay though. oh well. yeahhh.. umm i came home at like 7:30. dan and pimpie drove me home. i think they went to some chicks house. who knows. but he lives in pelham and hes 17 but its all good. oh well. &lt;33<br />but yeah thats all that happened<br />it sucked.<br /><br />NICKS a loser and doesn't know wtf is going on?<br />lol .. sorry but its maaaaad true!!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:7456 2004-03-22T01:16:47Z 2004-03-22T01:17:46Z Say what you say - Eminem well lemme tell you how my weekend went! lol<br /><br />friday - went to krystals then nick and alex (coke x ) came over and we hung out with them walked to 7-11 got a ride to the summit.. met lauren (girl in my math class ) shes pretty cool hung out then josh showed up .. i got lauren and josh "hang out" lol listened to some bands umm... then left early went to dans house yes people DAN FUCKING BAKER. nick held me close to him the whole way .. hehe :] umm walked around more and all that other shit nick and dan got high and i think alex did too im not sure .. me and krystal stayed down stairs with the cats and dog lol went back to the summit chilled there waited for a ride .. went to krystals hung out .. smoked some weed .. umm hung out laughed .. smoked more .. went to bed but best of it all ALEX FUCKING THREW UP!!!!!!! lmfao hahahah <br /><br />saturday -woke up lol.. dan and nick did the whole wake and bake .. lol ..then i did the bumpity bump to nick .. hehe i made him horny and he did to me too ... umm layed around alex left .. then me nick and krystal got a ride to burger king for nicks fat ass .. umm went to the summit .. lol stayed till like 5 went to KFC met dan ... lol then went back to the summit got a taxi bak to krystals went and smoked weed with her mom lmao .. her moms the shit umm then went and chilled in krystals room .. did the bumpity bump like all night but its kay. lol .. smoked sooo much weed .. nick and dan walked down by pinkerton to get weed .. but they got a ride .. which was good .. we smoked .. krystal got tired and she was kranky because she was mad because nick wouldn't shut up.. lol but its kay umm went to bed? lol i got nick mad at me for a while .. lol oh well .. sleepy time then..<br /><br />sunday - wokeeeeee up hung out with dan and nick .. bumpity bump lmfao .. again for a while .. and my knees are like broken and im like broken stupid nick lol .. but hes hot so its kay.. umm dan was waiting for krissy to come over to get him .. and then her and fucking nick fucking kis fucking sed .. lol im not to happy.. i dont like her already .. bumpity bump for a while then nicks dad called and he had to go some kids museam thing lmfao i was like hahahahhaha .. he doesn't think ill ever see him again .. bullshit.. lol then i came home and did my project and then did my hair and burnt my finger .. lol my bad .. here i am now lol <br /><br />i hope you liked my weekend .. it was fun to me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:7175 2004-03-18T00:13:07Z 2004-03-18T00:13:07Z i got this offa some kid sorry lol <br />&lt;33<br /><br /><br /><br />last cigarette: never<br />last car ride: 2 days ago<br />last good cry: today<br />last movie seen: Scream 3<br />last cuss word uttered: fucking<br />last beverage drank: apple juice<br />last food consumed: nothin<br />last crush: ryan flynn<br />last phone call: this morning<br />last tv show watched: buffy<br />last time showered: this mornin<br />last shoes worn: phat farms<br />last cd played: matchbook romance<br />last item bought: thongs?<br />last downloaded: PORN! lmao haha jk<br />last annoyance: my lil sister<br />last disappointment: dunno<br />last soda drank: last week<br />last thing written: this morning<br />last word spoken: whats going on!<br />last sleep: last nite<br />last im: shawn yule<br />last weird encounter: dunno<br />last ice cream eaten: half baked<br />last time amused: 3 days ago<br />last time wanting to die: dunno?<br />last time in love: never<br />last underwear worn: thongs today<br />last bra worn: today<br />last shirt worn: my pink shirt<br />last time dancing: today<br />last poster looked at: none<br />last show attended: none?<br />last webpage visited: livejournal.com<br /><br />[[ 5 things you are wearing ]]<br /><br />1. pjs<br />2. thong<br />3.socks<br />4. bra<br />5.t-shirt <br /><br />[[ 5 things you can see ]]<br /><br />1. the computer screen<br />2. my food<br />3. phone<br />4. cell phone<br />5. speakers<br /><br />[[ 5 things you are doing ]]<br /><br />1. taking this survey<br />2. talking on aim<br />3. eatin<br />4. typing? lol<br />5. looking at things?<br /><br />[[ 5 things you ate in the past 24 hours ]]<br /><br />1. matzarella sticks<br />2. eggs<br />3. fries<br />4. apple<br />5. waffle<br /><br />[[ 5 things you did so far today ]]<br /><br />1. got up<br />2. ate breakfast<br />3. watched tv<br />4. got online<br />5. and taking this thing<br /><br />[[ 5 things you can hear ]]<br /><br />1. im<br />2. my typing<br />3. people signing on and off line<br />4. music<br />5. my cell phone making noise<br /><br />[[ 5 colors you can see ]]<br /><br />1. gray<br />2. black <br />3. pink<br />4. white<br />5. green<br /><br />[[ 5 thoughts in your head ]]<br /><br />1. i want some ass<br />2. guys suck?<br />3. saturday<br />4. friday<br />5. ryan?<br /><br />[[ 10 objects you love ]]<br /><br />1. my computer<br />2. my phone<br />3. megan<br />4. krystal<br />5. my mom <br />6. my pets<br />7. lauren<br />8. RYAN<br />9. RYANNN<br />10. RYAAAAAAAN!<br /><br />[[ 5 things you wanna do in a lifetime ]]<br /><br />1. go to college<br />2. get married<br />3. go to another country<br />4. go to hawaii<br />5. die a virgin<br /><br />still more....<br /><br />My name is: Jess<br />The last thing that made me feel cared about was: Josh Farnan!!<br />The last time I was scared: when i was gunna get my ass beat<br />The last time I cried was: today<br />I will be remembered as: hopefully something good<br />Someday i will be: dead<br />I crave: ryan<br />I like: ryan<br />I know: i have a penis lol<br />I want: to get this thing done<br />I fear: some 1 i love dying<br />I understand: peoples feelings<br />I hate: preps<br />Hate is: a very strong word haha<br />I love: my self<br />Love is: bad<br />I live for: megan <br />I sing: in the shower :)<br />I try: to get good grades<br />I forget: a lot <br />I wonder: ryan<br />I can: fly! haha that would be cool<br />I can’t: really fly<br />I miss: ryan<br />I feel: bored<br />I believe: ryan flynns hottttt!!!!!<br />When I am sad I: cry<br />When I am happy I: im with megan or krystal or something<br />Freedom is: in america<br />Suicide: would be a mistake<br />Drugs: are awesome<br />Alcohol: ew<br />Sex: wouldn't kno!<br />Music: is great<br />Life: is a bitch<br />I am who I am because: Im stupid<br />One of my dreams is: be come a geek<br />its hard for me to: be nice<br />The best way to know me is: to know me? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:6941 2004-03-16T21:06:09Z 2004-03-16T21:10:30Z im real - the starting line aw read this<br />its fucking addorable<br />Tylawcb24: ur beautiful cute sexc n hott<br /><br />made me fucking smile i was like awwww babe!! lol .. hehe i love being called that shit i haven't been for a while since like alex or something lol long times ago. but its okay. im fucking hungry. and i need to talk to shawn and yeah because he called me a fucking bitch. asshole i smack him lol im fucking crazy. some kid mike today in my math class was like talking to me and i actually talked and i wasn't like a mute or some shit lol it was mad funny then mike rogers asked me out and i was all grossed out. i was like EWWWWWWWw lol .. lol yeah im thinking what else good happened today.<br />i saw krystal. shes fucking beautiful seriously. i was like awwwwwwwwww! lol sooooo pretty. shes cool too. it was cool to finally talk to her. yeah besides that lol but yeah im out.<br />peace homies<br /><br />i love you baby. even if im nothing but a bitch to you. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:6896 2004-03-16T11:16:44Z 2004-03-16T11:16:44Z gOoD mOrNiNg LoVeS!<br /><br />i hAtE mY LiFe sO gO bLoW a FuCkEn GoAt! <br /><br />scrUFFLEStheCAT: do u have any pics?<br />k thxz d i e: of?<br />scrUFFLEStheCAT: a goat<br /><br />i got tha goat thing from him lmao.<br /><br />bYE!!!!!!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:black_pois0n:6624 2004-03-15T20:09:16Z 2004-03-15T20:10:29Z Love song - 311 not that anyone cares but oh fucking well. yeah he hugged me today. i was sooooooooooo fucking happy.<br />and then ryan hugged me too. good stuff. i felt the love today after i looked like shit then i just threw my hair up. good stuff too. lol i was suposed to go down to mass today with lauren to go see adam and danny but im not because laurens sister i guess is gay lol thats what she said today. omfg besides all that, the little bitch lauren came up to me this morning and started having like a piss attack i was ilke umm DAMN w/e though. lol im kinda getting mad but w///eeeeee<br />i might be hooking up with dan who knows<br />im out<br />peace<br /><br />I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!